Turks drink black tea in the morning and Turkish coffee in the afternoon.

So, when my  family in Turkey was preparing for my arrival, they bought a huge jar of Nescafé for me. I drank it every morning, and every morning, it left me so, so, so disappointed.

Because let’s be real: Nescafé reeks of inauthenticity.

It’s trying really hard to be coffee, but it will never be coffee.

I think the label should read: Meh Coffee Substitute for When You Can’t Get the Real Thing, But You Really Want The Real Thing and You’re Willing to Settle.

Now, I’m sitting here at 4:22 AM, thrilled to be drinking my second pour-over made from my favorite Brazilian roast that has been burr-ground to perfection (coffee snob here, and proud of it).

And that got me thinking about us—the women.

The Inauthenticity We’ve Been Trained Into

Just like Nescafé is a substitute for the real thing, we’ve been trained—over generations, over lifetimes—to be something we’re not. We’ve been conditioned to settle, to accept a version of ourselves that is a shadow of the truth.

5,000 years of patriarchal programming has seeped into our DNA. It’s made us doubt ourselves. It’s made us show up smaller, dimmer, and more subdued than we were ever meant to be. We’ve been told to fit into molds that don’t serve us but serve the system that keeps us in place.

We’ve been taught to be inauthentic.

To please others before we please ourselves.

To say “yes” when we really want to scream “NO.”

To doubt ourselves, even when we know the truth in our bones.

To dim our light so no one else feels uncomfortable in our brilliance.

To swallow our words, our truth, our desires—because, somewhere along the way, we learned it was safer to stay quiet.

To apologize too often.

To be overly gracious, modest, and giving—to the point of depletion.

To hate our bodies for the natural process of growing thighs, gaining belly fat, and collecting forehead wrinkles.

Why? Because this serves the patriarchy—the white-cis-male-dominant stew we’re all swimming in, whether we realize it or not.

And for so many of us, it feels like this is just the way things are. Like the version of ourselves that we’ve learned to be is the only one that exists.

But that, my love, is the Nescafé version of you. A watered-down substitute for the real thing.

What Would It Feel Like to Be AUTHENTIC AF?

Now, imagine for a moment that you’re not Nescafé. You’re the real thing.

Imagine walking into a room, fully grounded in who you are.

You are standing tall, with your head held high, unapologetically occupying space.

You are Sexy. Badass. Brilliant. Confident AF. Joyful.

You are Knowing Your Worth. Speaking Your Truth. Owning Your Power.

You’re not apologizing for existing. You’re not making yourself smaller so others can feel comfortable. You’re not dimming your brilliance because someone, somewhere, might find it too much.

This, my love, is who you are at your core.

This is the truth of who you really are.👆🏽

The Illusion of What You’ve Been Taught

Everything else—the self-doubt, the shrinking, the apologizing for taking up space—it’s all an illusion.

The version of you that has been programmed by 5,000 years of patriarchal conditioning? It’s a gosh-darn f*cking illusion.

You were not made to play small. You were not born to live a life of “meh.”

You were born to live fully, boldly, and unapologetically. The way that God/Goddess/The Universe intended.

The Practice of Being Authentic AF

Now, here’s where the magic happens: this isn’t just an idea. It’s a practice. Because unlearning the inauthenticity we’ve been conditioned into takes time. It takes intention. It takes showing up every single day and choosing to be the real thing, not the substitute.

So, what does it look like to start practicing being Authentic AF?

Say “no” more often.

Stop saying yes out of guilt or obligation. If it’s not a full-body “hell yes,” then it’s a “no.” Every time you honor that truth, you take back a piece of your authenticity.

Stop apologizing for existing.

You are allowed to take up space. In fact, you were meant to take up space. The world doesn’t need a smaller version of you—it needs the full version of you.

Reclaim your desires.

What do you want? Not what you think you’re supposed to want. Not what you’ve been taught to strive for. What lights you up? What makes you feel alive? Start moving toward those things—no explanations needed.

Own your pleasure.

You deserve pleasure. Whether that’s sexual pleasure, joy in your work, or simple pleasures like a morning cup of coffee (and not Nescafé). Claim it. Savor it. Let it guide you toward more of what feels good.

Unlearn the old stories.

The narratives you’ve been taught—the ones that say you’re too much or not enough? They’re lies. Begin the practice of unlearning them, and write a new story for yourself—one that centers your brilliance, your worth, and your truth.

Being Authentic AF isn’t something you flip a switch on—it’s a daily practice. It’s a conscious choice to unbind yourself from the expectations and conditioning that have kept you playing small.

It’s time to step into the fullness of who you are. To embrace the real you—not the version you’ve been told to be.

Because trust me, love, the real you is so much better than any substitute..

Love you madly. And let’s fucking go!