I've had a revelation. The kind that smacks you upside the head.
Four months ago I thought I was dying - yes, I'm drama sometimes. My doctor did find some lumps in my breast which turned out to be cysts 🙏🏼. For weeks until my 2nd ultrasound I couldn't do anything but imagine my kids at my funeral. Would they be OK? Should Sahir remarry?
If I am being completely honest with you, I actually gave him the name of woman in my life whom I wanted him to marry. Mostly, I just wanted the two of them to take care of each other. This, I told him, would make me the most happy. And please, please, do not fall in love with some uptight lawyer. He needed someone fun and sassy (like me). As he listened to my request his eyes filled up and then quickly told me to STFU.
Told you. Drama.
But, just to give you some background, all of this came on the heels of a very real cancer diagnoses for one of my closest friends (she's ok, they go it out and she is healthy ❤️). I kept wondering cancer was playing a game of tag. And boom, I was it.
Life was turning me inside out.
I couldn't focus.
I couldn't sleep.
I just kept praying to the goddess, “Please let me live. Please let me live.”
Apparently she listened (or I just have biologically dense, lumpy and otherwise healthy breasts).
I celebrated all damn summer long.
Flying planes, swimming across the lake, making big meals with friends, having loads of sex, running through the woods and most recently spending time with family in Turkey.
My family makes fun of me now because I've been repeating the same phrase all summer - on roadtrips, at the dinner table, even on the way to the dump with a truck full of trash.
"Isn't this great?"
Because it is, my love.
Life IS great.
Every second of it.
Especially when you are LIVING it.
When you take life by the reins and steer it in the direction you want it to go, it's a sweet f*cking ride.
All of this to say, the tides are turning for this woman.
At 48.5 years old, I'm done with anything that doesn't turn me the f*ck on.
And I'm here today to invite you to do the same.
Giddy up.
The very brutal truth about life is that it ends.
And we have no idea when.
Memento Mori, a latin phrase that translates into “Remember you are mortal”, is the ancient practice of reflection on mortality.
To most people, this sounds like a horrible idea. Who wants to think about death? But what if embracing and meditating on it was the key to living the life we have to the absolute f*cking fullest?
In Meditations, Marcus Aurelius riffs on this concept and wrote, “You could leave right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.” He got it.
Suffice to say, I had my Memento Mori moment.
The time is now to begin creating the life you really want to be living. Get real about it. Do not delay your pleasure, your purpose, your joy, your turn on, your damn ALIVENESS for one more second.
Book that vacation. Learn how to surf. Write the book. Plan a killer party. Swim naked. Become a stand-up comic. Leave the stale relationship. Find new love. Wear fishnets. Switch careers. Start a new business. Have sex in an airplane. Learn to speak another language.
Do the thing you've always wanted to do. Be the woman who f*cking does it!
Love you madly. And let's fucking go!
Natty
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